I brought my father home from the hospital today and thank god he is feeling a lot better. The problem  with hospitalization is that for some reason the patient feels worse as time goes on. I just hope he starts to eat regularly at home. I’ll wait a day and slowly begin the nutritional program. As he’s now going to live here with me, I can monitor exactly what he has to eat and make sure that the supplements are administered appropriately.

Depending on my fathers health, I am hoping to start Tarceva on Saturday. Between now and then, we have a district nurse visiting every day to administer the 40mg Clexane injections, a member of the Acute response team also visiting to go through some physiotherapy with dad. On Saturday morning the district nurse will remove my fathers staples (knee).

I just hope my father starts to eat more at home.

We saw my father today and he didn’t look too good. The effect of the anesthetic quickly wore off and he has been in pain ever since. The nurses and doctors insist that he flexes the knee all the time and are adamant that he must walk to the toilet instead of taking the easy way out.

Of course it’s all very well and good saying you must flex your knee, but dad’s finding it very hard. To top it off, he’s decided hospital food is not for him eagerly awaits his evening meal which we cook and bring in. I’ve told him more than once that he must eat all the time. We’ll hopefully restart his supplements soon.

My father was doing well tonight. He’s a little fedup of lying down all the time, but whenever he tries to get up and do something taxing he breaks out into a sweat and even a fever at times.

He has some shortness of breath but doesnt cough that much.

He looks so humbled these days, quiet, resting, waiting and trying very hard to survive. God only knows how he finds the strength to carry on each day knowing that it’s one day closer to the inevitable. I guess we all walk this journey, but none of us really understand what it feels like to be so close, so unexpectidly.

He’s gone to bed now, I wish him the happiest of dreams.

I miss him already.